The Things Kids Say

Truth be told, this is the first blog that I have "made myself" write.  Thus far I have simply sat down and written while I felt impassioned about this or that ... which is almost always.  I once had a high school math teacher tell me I should be on "The View" one day.  At the time I didn't even know what it was.  Now-a-days I could only wish!

So back to my point.  My "goal" (ah!! New Year's overload!!) is to post at least weekly - so for being my first 'self-assigned" post, it might be a bit mish-mashed, wishy-washy.  (fun to say, no?) And I am pulling something together a little more light-hearted.  When I read other people's blogs, sometimes those are my favorite.

My son, well, he's a pretty funny kid.  He says the darndest stuff.  For example, last year when he was about 3&1/2 we were reading a Children's Christmas book.  Looking at Mary's pregnant belly, he asked why Mary would have eaten Baby Jesus??!

Then about 6 months later, we were reading the same book.  (You know, a little Christmas in July) and he asked how Baby Jesus got out of Mary's belly ... did she spit him out??!

My little guy loves to talk in extremes.  "Always" or "never" are common ground.  "All day long" and "the entire earth erf" are also regular lingo.  He rarely just likes, or doesn't like something, most often loving or hating it instead.  He is also a contrarian to his very core.  I promise this is going somewhere.

One morning after changing out of his pajamas and night diaper, he was waiting for me to grab his clothes.  When I walked up, he was playing with his... well, weenie.  I just made a light-hearted comment, and said "Oh sweetie, remember we don't play with our weenies!" in a sing-songy voice.  He stopped, but looked up at me while we were putting on his undies.  "But mom, I want to play with my weenie all.  day.  long."  Oh.  Well ... Er, Um, Ah!  It was both hilarious and very disconcerting. Oh being mother to a boy.

This needs a bit of background, so to put it shortly, we have been doing our best to explain death to our son. How our spirits leave our bodies, that we get to be with our family in heaven, but for those of us here on Earth it can be sad because we miss whoever passed away. About two weeks later our son was explaining a living situation of a friend of his cousin's that he plays with when we visit - a neighbor boy named Nick*. He said "Nick lives with his grandma and grandpa all day, because his mom and dad died. When your mom and dad die, you get your grandma and grandpa all day!! Isn't that exciting??!"  My husband and I sort of looked at each other, then I replied with a slow, "yes, that could be fun" wondering where this was going.  Jace immediately responded "I wish... No... I love Dad, Mom I wish just you weren't here so I could get Grandma and Grandpa all day!"  Ha!! It took Josh and I a solid 5-10 seconds to respond trying to hold back our laughter. I mean my cheeks were full of air, silent whole-hearted laughter.  Josh did explain to him why that wasn't appropriate and why they would miss Mom (me). But seriously? I love that my son just tells it how it is. 

As an adult, sometimes it is fun to act like a child.  So once when my boy asked what I was doing (sneaking some M&M's I believe), I told him "nunya".  He replied, "huh?  what's nunya?!"  And I said "none ya business!"  Josh and I had a good laugh and I handed my child a couple of M&M's.  The next day, I could hear said child opening some kind of wrapper in the back of the car.  I asked him what he was up to.  He replied "business!" while giggling.  Huh?  He said again "business!!" this time laughing.  And then I realized ... "oh, are you saying 'none ya business?'" and he melted into a fit of laughter while nodding.  Touché my son, touché.


*Names have been changed to respect privacy